Breaking Free

Today, I was reminded again of my life verse.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  2 Corinthians 12: 9

It might seem weird for some but this is probably the time to break free of my silence, of not posting my WordPress blog link on Facebook, not telling anyone except like less than a hand short of counting.

I already started about a year ago with my vlogging in Youtube and after a while, my YT friends became my Facebook friends. I was skeptical for the longest time, thinking that if they somehow look into my profile, they would find out and ask questions. I wasn’t ready for anything, at all. I totally shut down my blog, still writing but personally copy pasting the link to those who I want to have my blog post read.

Time and time again, my heart was being tugged, yes tugged because something in me wants to tell the whole Youtube world about it, I guess it wasn’t the right time yet. I also asked my friends and relatives about coming out of my shell but they had mixed reactions. It still did not work. So finally, July came, I asked different opinions from other people who I feel I can trust and they told me that I can open up about my illness to inspire and to motivate. I got that as a go signal, I was really excited to either make a vlog or tell it directly to them during my livestream. Of course, I just plan to make it a light topic or they might freak out at particularly, everything. My excitement went on for weeks but today, my heart was crushed with God’s reminder of my life verse, my purpose of why I am living today.

If you have felt that struggle is real, this too I can say is a struggle. What I did today was, I placed back my blog link in my FB profile since it’s my personal FB account so I could post anything in it. I plan to bring back my posts about inspirational quotes and blog post links so if anyone wants to take time to read, they can just easily click the link. As for my plan to open up in Youtube, I would just let people find out themselves and continue uploading vlogs just how I usually do it. I felt that making vlogs and talking about my illness in my livestream do not put justice to my silent advocacy because as I vlog, I will earn from it when they watch the ads. If I would earn, I want it to be from somewhere else.

That’s all for today’s blog, I hope you get to visit the other posts I have written to better understand my illness, Bi Polar 1 and all the things I have been going through for many years. May you find light in every darkness, find hope in desperation. God is indeed above all!